What’s worse, cleaning the toilet, or buying jeans?


January 17, 2012 by The Perfectly Imperfect One

There are two things I hate just as much as cleaning the tub and the toilet…….

With my luck, not even 1 pair would fit me right

Shopping for jeans, and a new bra!

Now, you’d think this would be fun, but I must inform you that it is not, it is the dreaded thing in my life. First, I am not the “average” shaped women, I have long legs and a not so delicate booty…..it borderlines on J-Lo’s ass, but not as bubble-butt-like, but it is not small.

So my dilemma is that I wear the “average” in length for my legs, the problem is I have to find my pants in the juniors sections because the women’s section is #1 not my style and #2 I don’t have the “mom” shape of body. So, I like the fit and flare style of jeans. Skinny jeans are for 4 year olds, and I don’t wear boots so the boot cut just looks funny with tennis shoes. I have to do the flare jeans because they look good on my body, and no way in hell can I handle the bottom of my jeans tapering at all.

The other problem is that companies make jeans for women who wear heels with their jeans, and I do not. I am a jeans, t-shirt, tennis shoe girl. So, they make jeans extra long so they touch the ground with heels, this means if you wear them with tennis shoes, you have about a foot of extra leg. Not my idea of fashionable, or comfortable, I am already clumsy enough without the worry of my jeans trying to kill me on a daily basis.

So I went to Kohl’s today because I got a gift card from my mom. And guess what? I found NOTHING! I found the right size in the leg, but not the butt….I actually grabbed two pairs of jeans by the same company in the same style just different colors, the light pair fit perfectly in the butt area and the legs, but they were too “low-rise” for my not so dainty booty, the darker pair wouldn’t even cover half my ass, which meant they wouldn’t button either….hmm, odd, same style, same size, but the color change made them not fit? Doesn’t seem to me. And we won’t even discuss the third pair I picked up to try on, it’s too depressing.

And what’s with jeans pre-holed? The reason I need new jeans is because they have holes in them….you know, the dreaded thigh rubbing area…I do not buy jeans with holes already in them, I am paying good money for jeans to last long enough for me to put the holes in them myself. And, I do not want my underwear or butt crack to show NO MATTER WHAT!!!

So, I moved over to the “women’s” section, because hey, why not see if they have something that would fit. UUUUGGGGGHHHH, NO!! The women’s jeans all taper at the ankle, and are way too large up top….I didn’t even think about trying on any pair….Sorry, not everyone in the world is a size 0 and likes skinny jeans, nor have we all given birth and have to have the “tummy tuck” jeans….and by the way, what’s up with jeans that taper anyway? GRR, Argh! No thanks….

My problem is that when I find the perfect pair of jeans; high enough in the waist to cover my personal areas, long enough so I don’t look like I am ready for the floods, but not too long that I am walking on them, and they button up and I can still breath :), I never have enough money to stock up and buy the 30 pair I need for the rest of my life, usually I can only afford to buy one pair. And, when I have the money to go buy more than one pair, the perfect pair are no where to be found, and end up leaving naked legged 😉

Anyone know a good tailor?


One thought on “What’s worse, cleaning the toilet, or buying jeans?

  1. G-unit says:

    I almost have the same problem I’ll find the right length but the jeans are very bulky, I’ve only had like 3 jeans that fit perfectly and I only have 1 left. It’s a sad, sad world.

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